(Hi! If you’re just here for the books and aren’t fussed about me, the TL;DR is: I won’t be publishing for the rest of the year.)
I’m going to be honest: I want to quit.
Since December 2020, I’ve been struggling with severe mental health issues. I did not leave my bed for most of March and April, I let down a lot of people I care about and damaged many parts of my life. I acted in bizarre ways, either erratically and didn’t sleep for days on end, or in the opposite direction, I was deeply lethargic and didn’t leave my bed for weeks. All this came to a climax in May when I was hospitalised in the ER.
In the following months, I did try to take better care of myself with the help of professionals and my family. I succeeded to an extent; however, I have reached a point where I can no longer ignore what’s going on in my brain and need to give up or risk my life. It is with a heavy heart I am making the decision to put a hold on publishing anymore books (excluding the Twisted Tales anthology story).
The other day I was remembering writing The Bloody Bride and realised: I have not enjoyed writing a book since then. I’m not sure if it’s a symptom of depression or just a sign I’m getting older and outgrowing all the things I loved as a teenager, but I have begun to despise writing mafia. I haven’t been proud of my most recent releases and feel like it’s clear my heart is just not in it anymore. I know I could do so much better, and until I figure out how I feel about this genre, I’m going to put writing + publishing any new books on hold.
I really appreciate all the love and support, and I am devastated to be making this decision, but it is the best one for my wellbeing. You guys deserve to read a well-written book that I am proud of, and I deserve not to spend most of my early twenties wanting to die. I will be away from social media and the very gracious Emily Alice will be running things in my wake. I look forward to returning, older and healthier, and being able to return to a job I love.